After watching Coco avent Chanel it got me thinking about what is my calling in life. Some people say they know their calling and they follow it, I always thought I knew mine - to be a professional horse rider - I soon realised that the dream of that was passing me by and I moved on. Art was always a passion of mine and still is and I have only recently been pursuing it again but I am not sure it is my calling.
I recall at the first company I worked for after leaving university that I had done a painting for someone and brought it into work and my colleagues were impressed by my use of colour and my talent. One lady came up to me said that it was a waist of talent, perhaps she was right and still is but in the real world a professional artist makes little money.
I have an eye for colour, it comes naturally to me, one of my teachers at school was bemused and impressed by one of my creations and for my finals at school my art teacher was dumb-founded by my work, she tried to get me into a gallery but sadly they did not take it. What was I to do with my eye for colour!?! Maybe I should have taken my cue from these pleasantries but I was unsure of my abilities, lacked confidence, oddly enough failure was easier than success, why is that?
I am certainly not past it and I have time to get back on track but it is always that what if question. What if I spend all that money and get nothing in return. What if I feel at the end of it that I have waisted my time? What if I do not reap the rewards? What if someone better comes along? What if I never catch a 'break'? What if....I think it is an age thing that I have started to think like this. Some people would say just go for it, I used to, before kids, chores, limitations placed on me. Is this the issue, not breaking through those limitations? I could spend more time thinking about it and actually not doing anything about it.
We live in a world that never slows down, where everything is in real time, it has to be now, now, now. What happened to perfecting a talent, the art, taking years, time to master a craft? So many people are all about me, me and me, making money, how popular they are in the social media arena that they forget to step back from it and take a look at the bigger picture, to live, what is wrong with living the now? I have seen people on Twitter, mention that they are in 'pursuit of happiness', it brings a tear to my eye to see this. Why should one not be happy, what does it take to be happy? Money? It helps. Marriage, friendship, success? I guess it is different for each person. In general I am a happy person, but the stresses of the economic crisis took its toll but I am almost back to my former happy self. I will be once I get home and settled.
Too much emphasis has been put on to status, and we forget there is more to life than money, status, the car, the house, designer clothing need I go on? But there is talent out there, so much talent that a lot of it is missed because of the lack of opportunity, not meeting the right people etc, a lot has to do with timing and luck and Chanel met the right person at the right time and built her career.
There are so many questions that can only be answered by doing it. It works for some, some even become famous, for others, at least they tried. What do they say, it is not the winning but the taking part?